Who needs another new 'Robin Hood' movie? Absolutely no one.

"Robin Hood" gets right to the point: "Forget what you think you know," a narrator tells us, before diving into this awkward attempt at reimagining the swashbuckling English antihero who famously robbed from the rich and gave to the poor, arrows flying.

I would take those words as a warning. The more invested you are in the old-fashioned Robin Hood of legend - here played by Taron Egerton, in a quilted, black-leather hoodie that makes him look like he stepped out of Barney's on Madison Av...