Ironclad predictions for the new year
Greetings, and welcome to the latest edition of Rex Huppke's Ironclad Can't-Go-Wrong New Year's Predictions.
As most of you know, I possess the power of precognition, having been bitten by a radioactive psychic back when I was a teenage comic book character.
Because I have no recollection of any past predictions or whether they came true, I can confidently claim they were all 100 percent accurate. If I don't know something is wrong, it has to be right. That's just basic math.